


Every Time We (Don't) Touch

by Marie_Tomas



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Affection, Arguing, Awkward Romance, First Kiss, Fluff, Hogwarts Fifth Year, Insecurity, James and Sirius Bromance, Jealous Remus Lupin, Light Angst, M/M, Marauders Friendship, Marauders' Era, Minor James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Misunderstandings, POV Remus Lupin, Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, Remus is Jealous of James, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Sirius Black & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Werewolf Remus Lupin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-03-01 07:46:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13290309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marie_Tomas/pseuds/Marie_Tomas
Summary: By the time he reaches his fifth year at Hogwarts, Remus has started to realize that Sirius isn't very affectionate with him.To make matters worse, Sirius is affectionate with all of his other close friends, especially James, causing Remus to feel a strange sense of jealousy.When Remus confronts Sirius about his lack of affection, Sirius's response is rather...unexpected.





	Every Time We (Don't) Touch

**Author's Note:**

> A little Remus/Sirius ('Wolfstar') romance with a major misunderstanding along the way, based on an idea for a fan-fiction I've had for a little while that I've been trying to get into words.
> 
> The idea kind of came from my thoughts about the various reasons why people might not be overly affectionate with those they care about, as well as a personal headcanon that Remus and Sirius might have been a little like Ron and Hermione at Hogwarts.
> 
> As a standard disclaimer, all characters and settings belong to J.K. Rowling.
> 
> The title is based on the song, Every Time We Touch by Cascada.

Sirius hardly ever touched him.

This was the uncomfortable thought that pushed its way into Remus Lupin's mind a few weeks after he had begun his fifth year at Hogwarts, when Sirius had run towards him and James in the Great Hall after carrying out a particularly elaborate prank.

The prank had been Remus's idea in the first place, although Sirius seemed to have completely forgotten that fact, given that he had thrown himself into James's arms when he reached Remus and James at the Gryffindor table, with James practically lifting a grinning Sirius off his feet as he laughed and hugged his best friend back, the two of them sharing in a moment of celebration.

Then, to make matters worse, when Sirius finally let go of James, he had simply turned to Remus and awkwardly shook his hand, looking a bit uncomfortable the whole time, his expression a lot more solemn than when he had been looking at James. The formal gesture had finally forced Remus to admit that this lack of affection seemed to be a pattern between the two of them.

Remus realised that it had taken him a while to notice the physical distance between them, but he also knew that this was most likely because he himself had kept a self-imposed, invisible barrier between himself and other Hogwarts students (including his friends) for his first few years at Hogwarts, partly because he wasn't really a naturally touchy-feely person anyway, but mostly because he had grown up believing that other witches and wizards would be disgusted if they ever found out his secret, and probably wouldn't want to be anywhere near him as a consequence.

However, Remus had really thought that all of that was in the past, at least when it came to his fellow Marauders, who he considered to be his best friends, especially after they had found out his deepest, darkest secret and hadn't judged him or rejected him for it-in fact, they seemed to have fully embraced Remus's 'furry little problem', even acting like the fact that he was a werewolf was something that made him unique, cool, almost.

Not to mention the fact that James and Peter  _were_  affectionate with him. James in particular always acted like the 'mother hen' of their group (even though he'd probably hex Remus if Remus ever said that out loud), and even from their early days at Hogwarts, James had climbed into Remus's bed at night to soothe him after particularly bad nightmares, or when Remus had been upset because he'd been missing his parents and his home. For all that the Marauders gently mocked and teased each other on a daily basis, Remus was grateful that James had never once mocked him for his nightmares or his homesickness, and he'd never refused Remus a hug when he needed one.

Even now, James still hugged him or lay close to him in their beds in the Gryffindor dormitory as the full moon drew closer, or when Remus was feeling awful after a particularly bad transformation. He was also happy to share hugs or affectionate pats on the back with Remus after every successful prank, or sometimes he just leaned on Remus for support as he laughed hysterically at whatever 'hilarious' joke he had just told.

As for Peter, Remus often got up and got into Peter's bed to calm him down after Peter experienced nightmares of his own, and Peter had never pushed him away. It also wasn't unknown for Peter to fall asleep over Remus's feet when they were all relaxing by the fire in the Gryffindor common room of an evening, usually with Peter sitting on the floor as the rest of the Marauders spread out over the nearest armchairs.

And yet Sirius didn't follow James and Peter's lead when it came to being affectionate with Remus.

Of course, it wasn't as though he shunned Remus completely. Sirius was still his friend, after all. There were still the pats on the back, or a casual touch to Remus's arm or shoulder during a conversation, and it wasn't like they didn't share a close emotional bond; Sirius often sat on the edge of Remus's bed late into the night, telling Remus about his childhood and his fears and his hopes and dreams-things that Remus wasn't even sure Sirius had told  _James_  about. But when it came to actual affection, Sirius definitely kept his distance. There were no long, drawn out hugs, no ruffling of his hair as he mocked him, no walks down the corridors or in the school grounds with Sirius's arm thrown over his shoulders, no cuddles in bed at night like there were with James and Peter.

Remus might not have minded so much, if Sirius just generally hadn't been an affectionate person-after all, not everybody enjoyed close physical contact, even with their best friends-but the undeniable truth was that Sirius was known for being one of the most affectionate students at Hogwarts.

All of Sirius's close friends knew very well how affectionate he was; they all just seemed to understand that Sirius was probably making up for years of a lack of affection from his prejudiced pure-blood family.

Not only that, but his friends seemed to make the most of Sirius's desire to be affectionate. Sirius would always run over to Peter's bed to give him a hug after a nightmare, if Remus and James weren't there already; he would always cuddle up with his friend Marlene on the sofa in the Gryffindor common room-Remus had often seen the two of them together, brushing each other's hair as they leaned into each other; and Remus had even spotted Sirius giving Lily Evans a hug once, late one night as the two of them sat together on the stairs leading up to the boys' dormitory and Lily cried about her lost relationship with her sister. Although Lily still seemed to find Sirius very annoying, she had definitely been a lot kinder to him after that night, often affectionately touching his shoulder when she walked past him in the Great Hall and she thought that nobody was watching.

But without a doubt, Sirius's most frequent and important affectionate touches were saved up for his best friend. Sirius and James's days seemed to be filled with hugs, or arms slung over shoulders, or arms around each other's backs as they walked up and down the corridors or sat close together in the Gryffindor common room, and they often fell asleep next to each other on one or the other of their beds after staying up late to share jokes and laughter.

Any mockery from certain students (mainly Slytherins) about James and Sirius's closeness only seemed to encourage them further, and the two of them would make a great show of skipping through the corridors hand-in-hand as they laughed in the Slytherins' faces, or they would make a point of kissing each other on the cheek or leaning into each other as they laughed and joked in the Great Hall in full view of the Slytherin table.

The way Remus saw it, Sirius never seemed to be more than a few feet away from James at any time, regardless of whether they were being serious or whether they were joking around. He just didn't know  _why_  he felt this strange stab of jealousy at the thought of Sirius sharing affection with James, not when he had always known and understood that James was Sirius's best friend, and not when James had always been so kind to him.

Remus knew that Sirius's strange aversion to being affectionate with him shouldn't upset him this much; he knew that he had much more important issues at Hogwarts to focus on, but the truth was, he  _really_  wanted Sirius to touch him. He couldn't put this longing into words, couldn't explain why, even to himself, but he had always felt this strange compulsion to be close to Sirius, for Sirius to be in his space, for Sirius to pay attention to him. He'd always felt that strange twist of something that felt a little bit like anger every time Sirius threw his arms around James, even though he knew that he had no reason to feel that way.

At first, Remus had wondered if his sadness at Sirius's lack of affection was because of the 'werewolf thing'-or more precisely, his fear that Sirius didn't touch him because he was uncomfortable with the reality of Remus being a werewolf, but deep down, Remus had a strange suspicion that his sadness at Sirius's reluctance to touch him was based on something else, something that had nothing to do with the werewolf issue.

* * *

In the weeks that followed their awkward handshake in the Great Hall after their prank, Remus observed Sirius closely. On top of the general lack of affection, he started to notice that Sirius hardly ever sat right next to him in class, either, or when they were eating in the Great Hall. He never walked close to Remus when the Marauders strolled through the corridors on the way to their lessons, or when they snuck out of the common room late at night to carry out their latest pranks. He always sat right on the end of Remus's bed when he was talking to Remus at night, instead of getting under the covers with him, the way he did with James.

As the months went by, Remus felt himself getting angrier and angrier. The twist of jealousy in his stomach seemed to spread all over his body, making him feel jumpy and irritable.

Unable to deal with this increasing sense of anger and unease, Remus tried his best to hide it, to push it down, the way he did with every emotion that made him uncomfortable; he tried to carry out his usual routine, but he ended up going quieter and more distant from his friends as a result.

As he spent long weekends by himself in the library, lost in his thoughts and wishing that his beloved books could provide him with all the answers about emotional issues, Remus decided that he was going to have to do something about this particular issue.

He made plans to speak to Sirius sensibly and calmly, in private somewhere in the castle, so that he could ask him, gently and discreetly, why he wasn't as affectionate with him as he was with the others. Then he would ask him if he had said something to really offend him beyond their usual bickering, which might have unintentionally led to the distance between them.

He would also reassure Sirius that he wouldn't  _mind_  the extra affection, just in case Sirius was keeping a distance from him because he believed that Remus didn't like being affectionate with people, or because he knew that Remus was too shy to ask for it. He would listen to whatever Sirius had to say about the matter, and then they could both try and solve the issue like the mature fifth-years that they were supposed to be.

Of course, all of these plans went right out the window the moment Remus arrived back at the dormitory on one particular Sunday afternoon and saw Sirius and James sitting on James's bed with their arms wrapped around each other in a hug.

Remus stayed still in the doorway, feeling his heart start to beat faster.

James in particular looked like he was feeling very sorry for himself. He just about picked up on a few of James's words in the conversation-'Lily', 'asked out', 'dance', 'said no', 'humiliated', 'always', 'love' and 'thinks I'm a prat'.

Remus felt his breathing get quicker as he listened to the usual words of complaint from James about how Lily Evans didn't love him, and he watched Sirius patting his best friend on the back, his expression sympathetic.

Remus opened his mouth to say something calmly, but then-

"Why don't you touch me?!" he demanded, the angry words leaving his lips suddenly and involuntarily.

Sirius and James jumped and then they sprang apart, both of them staring at Remus with shocked expressions.

"You never touch me, Sirius!" Remus continued to shout, unable to stop himself now that he had started. His friends knew that he was generally the calm and reserved one of their group, but they also knew that Remus was prone to explode in a burst of anger from time to time, even after weeks of seemingly being calm and in control, letting out everything that had built up in his thoughts in one go, and he could tell from Sirius and James's wary expressions that they knew that this was one of those moments.

"You're always affectionate with everyone else, like Marlene and Lily-"

"With Lily?" James interrupted, turning to Sirius with a look of suspicion on his face, but Remus had no time for James's jealousy right now.

"And Peter and James," Remus quickly continued, wishing that he hadn't sounded so resentful when he said James's name. "But never me! Why do you always keep your distance from  _me_  when you're so affectionate with everybody else? What is it about me that disgusts you so much?"

Sirius could barely look him in the eye as Remus continued to shout. Instead, he stared down at the floor, an almost guilty expression on his face.

"Remus-" James desperately tried to interrupt his rant, the way he always did when the Marauders were arguing.

"Not now, James!" Remus snapped at him, unable to calm down now that he had got started. He knew that he would regret this angry outburst later, but right now, with the adrenaline coursing through his body, he had to keep going.

"What did I ever do to upset you?" he continued to shout at Sirius, even though he still felt a little bit guilty for being so rude to James. "To make you push me away?"

Remus ended his angry outburst and took a few deep breaths to calm himself. But it was no use, especially when his words continued to be met by stunned silence from the other side of the dormitory, with the lack of reaction from his friends only adding to his frustration.

With one last angry kick aimed at the nearest bed, Remus turned around and stormed out of the dormitory, needing to get away, needing time alone to gather his thoughts.

* * *

He couldn't even remember how he got there, but a few minutes later he found himself out in the Hogwarts grounds, close to the edge of the Forbidden Forest.

He paced up and down frantically in his agitation, trying to make sense of his recent behaviour.

At the sound of gentle footsteps approaching him, he didn't have to turn around to know that it was Sirius Black who had followed him outside. Since first year, Remus had always had this weird, innate ability to sense when Sirius was somewhere close by.

Remus turned around slowly to face him, taking a few more deep breaths.

"Remus…" Sirius muttered, looking paler than usual, his head bowed, his tone of voice almost pleading.

Remus knew just by the fact that Sirius hadn't called him by one of the various nicknames that he had come up with for him over the years that Sirius was taking this matter well, seriously.

"Is it the werewolf thing?" Remus asked straight away, before Sirius could say anything else. He was now starting to realise how ridiculous he must sound, how the others might just think that he was overreacting, but he really needed some kind of explanation now that he had started this, and he still felt angry. In his anger, he leapt on the prime source of his own insecurity, his main fear as to why people might reject him.

"You prat," Sirius retorted, his arms folded, although there was no real malice in the way he spoke the words. "That's what you think all this is about? If you had any idea what the three of us have been planning to help you with your transformations, then you definitely wouldn't accuse me of something like that…"

Remus felt a bit intrigued about what Sirius had just said, but he could tell from Sirius's facial expression that this was something that he didn't want to talk about yet.

 _James has probably sworn him to secrecy…_ Remus thought bitterly.

"Then,  _why_ , Sirius? Why do you always hug James and Peter but not me? Why don't you touch me?"

Remus expected Sirius to laugh, to shrug Remus's words off, to pretend that all of this wasn't happening, or that it was all in Remus's head, a product of his usual paranoia.

Instead, Sirius did something that Remus would never have expected: he took several purposeful steps forward, getting right into Remus's space, then he leaned in even further and kissed Remus full on the mouth.

Remus gasped in shock, his eyes wide the whole time that Sirius's lips brushed against his. He stayed frozen to the spot, feeling too shocked and confused to move, wondering what was happening, how they had got to this point.

Sirius seemed to take Remus's lack of action as some sort of bad sign, because he suddenly stopped kissing Remus and moved away from him with his eyes wide. " _That's_  why I don't touch you," he said, his eyes now filling with tears. "I'm sorry," he whispered, before he turned around and walked away from Remus without looking back, his steps getting faster as he moved further away, like he couldn't wait to get away.

Remus remained rooted to the spot, watching him go, still feeling too unnerved to do anything. Almost unconsciously, he brought his hand to his lips as he tried to work out in his head what in Merlin's name had just happened.

 _What did any of that even mean?_  he wondered to himself as he continued to run a finger over his lips. How did the fact that Sirius had just kissed him have anything to do with the fact that he hardly ever touched him? Why had Sirius even kissed him in the first place? Perhaps more importantly, why had Remus liked it so much, having Sirius's lips on his, in spite of his shock and confusion? Why could he still feel a tingling sensation running over his lips and all over his body?

Remus sighed to himself as he thought about the look of sadness in Sirius's eyes, how Sirius had run away from him, looking terrified. He had a feeling that he had just inadvertently made this problem a hundred times more complicated, rather than resolving it like he'd originally planned.

* * *

The next day was unbearable.

Sirius must have got up early to avoid Remus, because, after drawing the curtains of his four-poster bed last night and refusing to speak to anybody, Sirius had already left the dormitory when Remus woke up the next morning after an unsettled sleep. Sirius also wouldn't look him in the eye at breakfast, and he left the Great Hall before Remus did to get to class, even though he was usually one of the last to leave for class in the morning, with Remus practically having to drag him out of the Great Hall most days.

Sirius seemed to sit as far away as possible from him in every single class, too, still refusing to look him in the eye. Instead, he mostly kept his head bowed, looking devastated, or at other times, he would stare out of the classroom window, looking lost in thought.

Remus wanted to do something about it, he really did, he couldn't stand to see Sirius so upset, but he didn't know  _what_  to do. He wasn't sure he even understood what was going on-he still didn't understand what the connection was between Sirius not being affectionate with him and Sirius kissing him by the Forbidden Forest. He couldn't understand why Sirius had looked so upset after the kiss. He also failed to understand why he couldn't stop thinking about that kiss, why he had this strange desire to do it all over again, even though he'd never really thought about kissing anyone else before, boy or girl.

* * *

Sirius wasn't in the Great Hall in the evening, and Remus suspected that he had eaten before Remus, in order to continue to avoid him.

Remus ended up sitting opposite Lily as he pushed his food around his plate, barely able to eat.

Lily seemed to sense that Remus was feeling upset about something, because she looked at him with a sympathetic expression. She had just opened her mouth to say something to him when-

"Evans!"

Whatever Lily had been about to say was cut off by the arrival of James, who swaggered towards her, looking every inch the arrogant prat that Lily had always assumed him to be.

Lily rolled her eyes at a few of her friends who were sitting nearby as James approached, but that didn't seem to deter him.

"So, Evans, I was thinking, you, me, Hogsmeade…this weekend?"

Remus couldn't help noticing that James kept his arms folded tightly as he spoke to Lily. A few times, it looked as though he wanted to reach over and touch her, maybe brush a hand through her hair, judging by the way he kept eyeing the red locks almost longingly, but he seemed to be holding his hands and arms in place, as though to stop himself. He also kept a distance from Lily, not standing too close, like he was intentionally placing the space between them to remind himself that he couldn't go anywhere near her.

"Sod off, Potter!" Lily snapped at him, and Remus wondered if this response was just automatic now, because she'd already said it so often.

James must have been able to tell from her firm tone of voice that the conversation was over, because he simply shrugged and headed out of the Great Hall.

It was then that Remus noticed that Sirius had apparently been waiting for James in the doorway the whole time, maybe to act as a reassuring presence while he asked Lily Evans out yet again, because he met James with a sympathetic grin.

"Bad luck, mate," he could just about make out Sirius mumbling to James as he threw an arm over his shoulder, the two of them heading out into the Entrance Hall with their arms around each other.

Remus watched them retreat with a scowl on his face, feeling envious of James all over again for the affection that he got to share with Sirius.

It was only when he turned away from his two friends that he realised that  _Lily_  was also staring after James and Sirius with a similar envious expression on her face. Her eyes were focused right on James, and suddenly, Remus wondered if deep down, she wanted to be in Sirius's place-if she actually wanted James to be affectionate with her, secretly.

Lily must have realised that Remus was staring at her, because she blushed and turned away from James and Sirius and looked back at Remus, the two of them sharing an almost guilty expression, like they'd both been caught out.

And, as quick as a bolt of lightning, it all suddenly made sense to Remus. He jumped out of his seat and practically ran out of the Great Hall.

He couldn't find Sirius or James in the Entrance Hall, but a couple of his fellow Gryffindors assured him that his two friends had headed to their dormitory.

Remus ran up staircase after staircase as fast as he could as he headed in the direction of the Gryffindor common room, trying to avoid all the trick steps on the way.

As he ran up the stairs, Remus thought about how James had just deliberately kept a physical distance from Lily, like he was afraid to get too close to her, even though he clearly wanted to.

Then he thought yet again about how Sirius had kissed him after he asked Sirius why he didn't touch him.

_That's why I don't touch you…_

James didn't touch Lily because he wasn't sure if his romantic feelings were reciprocated. Because any touch would have meant  _more_  than just friendship. Because getting too close would have given the game away, laid his feelings bare to the whole school.

Perhaps this was why Sirius didn't touch him. Perhaps this was why Sirius had looked so upset after the kiss, because Remus had reacted with wide-eyed shock, freezing up and refusing to reciprocate in his surprise, as though the feeling wasn't mutual, which had probably only served to confirm Sirius's fears about Remus not feeling the same way, causing him to keep an even further distance between them.

* * *

Remus arrived in the Gryffindor common room and took the stairs leading to the boys' dormitory two at a time.

He burst through the door and quickly looked around the dormitory, searching for Sirius.

Of course, James and Sirius were standing right in the middle of the dormitory, so busy hugging each other that they barely noticed that Remus had come into the room.

James was going on about Lily's latest rejection, his words muffled as he leaned into Sirius's shoulder for comfort.

Before he could even think about what he was doing, Remus let out an impatient sigh and walked determinedly towards Sirius. He could only hope that he had read the situation correctly, that Sirius wouldn't push him away.

Barely taking a moment to register Sirius and James's frowns of obvious confusion, Remus got right up to close to Sirius and practically pulled him apart from James so that he could lean in and kiss him.

Sirius let out a shocked gasp as their lips touched, but he only remained frozen for a few seconds before something seemed to break and he started to kiss Remus back, giving as good as he got. As he parted his lips, allowing better access, he pulled Remus in closer to his body.

Remus was vaguely of aware of James saying something like, "Is this really the moment?" but he was too caught up in the fact that he was kissing Sirius Black to take much notice. It was as though everything else in the room was barely there, as though all of the images around Remus were blurred or happening in slow motion. As Sirius nibbled at his lower lip, Remus could only focus on what they were doing.

He felt light-headed, weak at the knees, and he also felt a strange tingling sensation from head to toe, as well as the tingling on his lips as Sirius continued to kiss him. It was as though everything that had happened between them had been leading up to this moment, this kiss.

He finally understood that this is what the strange tension, the distance, the bickering between him and Sirius had been about for all the years that they had known each other. This was probably why Sirius had always been more wary about physical contact with him.

Sirius wasn't worried about touching him now, if the feeling of his hands running through Remus's hair and up and down his back were anything to go by as their kisses became even more frantic. He threw himself into the kissing the way he did with any prank-with energy and enthusiasm, practically lifting Remus off his feet as he held him tightly. All of his barriers seemed to be down now that he knew that Remus wanted him, too.

For all of his lack of experience, Remus knew very well that these touches were not the casual or friendly touches of a best friend-they were the caresses of a lover, a boyfriend.

"Hey!" he heard James call out, but still Remus ignored him.

They ended up stumbling back onto the nearest bed, with Remus running his hands through Sirius's hair the moment they both landed on the mattress.

Remus also realised that this is why he had always longed for Sirius to be close to him, to touch him. This is why he had always thought that Sirius was one of the most attractive students at Hogwarts, why he had always been so jealous of Sirius's easy friendship with James. Deep down, Remus had always viewed Sirius as more than a friend; he just hadn't realised this until Sirius kissed him.

"Oi!" he heard James shout, his voice sounding a lot more determined this time, and a lot angrier.

Finally, he and Sirius stopped kissing each other so that they could look up guiltily at James. Remus felt himself going red as the reality of where he was and what he was doing finally hit him-he was currently lying on top of Sirius on  _James's_   _bed_  while James glared at the two of them with his arms folded. At the very least, Sirius still kept his arms wrapped firmly around Remus's waist as his cheeks also turned a faint shade of pink.

"I'm  _very_  glad that you two idiots have finally worked out that you're madly in love with each other!" (Remus blushed all over again as he wondered if James had known that this is how they felt about each other all along.) "But right now, this is all about  _my_  pain! My heartbreak!  _Me_!"

"Oh right, yeah, sorry," Remus mumbled as he finally managed to untangle himself from Sirius and stand up. "I didn't mean to interrupt. Carry on…" He gestured vaguely from James to Sirius before he headed towards his own bed, suddenly perfectly happy to let James and Sirius continue hugging each other. It didn't seem to matter so much anymore that Sirius and James were always so affectionate with each other, not when Sirius had just kissed him like that.

He sat down on his bed, opened one of his many books and started reading.

James stared at Remus for a little while with his mouth open and his eyes wide, as though he couldn't believe that Remus could be so casual after what had just happened. Then he stared at Sirius, who was still lying on James's bed looking a little dazed (much to Remus's delight). Eventually, however, Sirius managed to get up off the bed, and as he slowly stood up, James simply shrugged and allowed Sirius to hug him again.

It didn't take long before James was complaining about his heartbreak and his feelings of rejection all over again, with Sirius mumbling what Remus assumed were words of comfort, if telling James to 'get over it' and 'ask Evans out again tomorrow' could really count as words of comfort.

The two of them ended up sitting down on James's bed, their arms still around each other. However, every few minutes, Remus looked up from his book to see Sirius staring back at him, and the two of them shared several almost-shy smiles, as though they both couldn't quite believe what they had just done.

Eventually, James seemed to decide that he'd received enough attention for one day, because after he'd whispered a few things in Sirius's ear that sounded like words of encouragement, Sirius started to head towards Remus's bed, looking nervous and uncertain.

"I've been neglecting you, Remy," he whispered as he ran a hand slowly, hesitantly through Remus's hair, sounding almost apologetic, and like he wasn't sure of the 'rules' between the two of them, now that they had kissed.

Remus felt a rush of affection. He hardly ever got to see Sirius act nervous and uncertain like this.

Slowly, Sirius sat down next to him on the bed. It was different, to how Sirius had just been with James, because they both sat a little further apart, and their touches were slower, a lot more hesitant, but as Sirius ran his hands in feather-light touches over Remus's neck, and over his shoulders and up and down his back and arms, Remus knew that these softer, gentler touches were more intimate, more  _romantic_.

"You prat," Sirius whispered against Remus's skin with a smile, "I was planning on doing all of this properly- trying to be 'more mature' like you always say I should be and speaking to you in private about my feelings, maybe asking you on a date to Hogsmeade or something; James was even advising me on how to go about it-but then you had to ruin it all with your weird outburst…"

"I prefer it this way," Remus grinned unapologetically, feeling surprised that both Sirius and James had been talking about all of this and making plans for Sirius to ask him out. "It means that the snogging happened a lot quicker…" He couldn't help blushing all over again as he finished his sentence. It didn't help that James kept looking at them from his bed and rolling his eyes, as well as acting out exaggerated kissing impressions before placing his hands mockingly over his heart.

Sirius simply laughed and leaned in to kiss Remus's cheek.

"You've both been neglecting me, too!" James chimed in before Sirius could touch him anymore. He quickly ran across the room, jumping onto Remus's bed, with Sirius using a few swear words as James practically landed on top of him, and Remus had to tell Sirius off for his bad language.

James ended up settling on the bed with his arms wrapped around Sirius, with the two of them still affectionately insulting each other as they got comfortable.

Remus rolled his eyes. It was typical of James, to insist on inserting himself into any form of affection that the Marauders showed each other.

Remus knew that other people might get jealous, watching the object of their affection in a similar situation (and Remus also knew that he himself probably would have got jealous, before Sirius kissed him), but after everything that just happened, he knew for certain that he really didn't mind anymore about James and Sirius being so close. He knew that James would always be Sirius's best friend, but maybe  _he_  could be Sirius's  _boyfriend_. James and Sirius could hug and cuddle and skip around school hand-in-hand every day, if they wanted, as long as Remus got to be the recipient of Sirius's slow, gentle caresses in the Gryffindor dormitory.

As though Sirius could read his thoughts, he held out an open hand to Remus and Remus took it. For Remus, this simple gesture was enough now; it was more than enough.

Remus held Sirius's hand in his and settled down for a nap with two of his closest friends with a grin on his face. As he drifted off to sleep next to Sirius, he hoped for a lot more kissing and affectionate touches in the not-so-distant future.


End file.
